Cars really are a money pit, aren't they?
Finding the cheapest young driver car insurance is a good start. But you'll probably still have to dig every last penny out of the back of the sofa to pay for all the other stuff you need: road tax, fuel, MOT, breakdown cover, repairs, etc.
Just in case you've taken care of all these and still feel pretty flush - and we're thinking of all you rollover lottery winners, presenters of The Apprentice and heads of state out there - here's a shopping list of twenty other things to buy for your car.
Some, hopefully, you'll already have - the spare wheel for instance. You shouldn't need to pay for some others, like blankets and a tow rope, because chances are someone you know will have one going spare. And you don't actually need everything here to get from A to B - so don't cancel any important road trips because you haven't got a trolley jack or a hi-vis jacket.
But the more of these things you have in your car, the better prepared you'll be - for an accident, a breakdown, an unexpected night on the hard shoulder or even an impromptu trip to the seaside.
So without further ado.
1. Torch
The increased risk of accidents at night, the chance you've left
your lights on and flattened the battery or just the
reassurance that you're standing on solid ground when taking
a twilight 'rest stop' on the hard shoulder - there are so many
good reasons for putting a torch in your glove box.
Maglite torches (http://www.maglite.com) are built to last - chances are, if you've survived the crash, so has the Maglite - and last ages on a set of batteries. If you'd prefer something smaller, try a keyring light with an LCD bulb.
2. Blanket
Off clubbing in a boob tube and mini-skirt? You probably won't
enjoy waiting an hour in the freezing cold for the breakdown
service to arrive, but at least that woolly blanket you keep on
the back seat will stop you getting frostbite. Also great for
sitting on if you stop for a picnic.
Old people have lots of blankets left over from before duvets were invented, and will just skip for joy if you ask for one. Otherwise, try a charity shop.
3. First aid kit
Don't just buy one from a pound shop and lose it under the
passenger seat. Take the time to acquaint yourself with the
contents of your first aid kit, and top it up afterwards if you
ever need to use something.
Garages and camping shops always carry these, as do anxious relatives. It's up to you where yours comes from.
4. Hazard warning triangle
Carrying a warning triangle is a legal requirement in most
European countries, but it's just a really sensible idea in the
UK. Try and resist the urge to erect the triangle in your living
room and play 'motorway maintenance'.
Many newer cars come with a triangle slotted into the boot door or on top of the spare wheel. If yours didn't, try Halfords (http://www.halfords.com) or any relative with a garage and points on their licence - chances are they've written off a few Ford Capris or Rover Maestros in their time, and have a pile of old number plates and spare triangles to show for it.
5. Scraper and de-icer
At a pinch, a credit card makes a great ice scraper; but try
paying for things in Selfridges with a raggedy-edged AMEX or
Morgan Stanley and you'll soon wish you'd invested in the real
deal.
Put one of each in your basket next time you're buying sweets at the Shell garage.
6. Haynes manual
Haynes currently publish manuals for over 500 different
vehicles, so unless you drive something really obscure there's
one available for your car. Keen young drivers read a page
every night - the rest of us bung it in the glove box with the
cellophane still on, safe in the knowledge that, when disaster strikes, the horrifying number of clearly worded step-by-step
diagrams relating to our problem will totally justify calling out
the AA Man.
Buy one at http://www.haynes.co.uk.
7. Basic toolkit
This doesn't need much more to it than a set of spanners and
a couple of screwdrivers - ideally at the correct sizes to fit
your car. Also, make sure you've got the right tools to fit any
replacement parts you're carrying.
Find them shiny and new at Halfords, or brown and oily in the sheds of 'handy' relatives.
8. Light bulbs and fuses
In most cases, changing light fittings is the kind of
straightforward job you can do by yourself - but that doesn't
stop the majority of drivers chickening out. It's worth carrying
replacement bulbs and fuses even if you have no intention of
fitting them, however, as they will reassure the policeman
who inevitably pulls you over for dangerous (i.e. unlit) driving
that you were honestly just looking for the next garage.
Another Halfords purchase, unless they came with the car.
9. Notepad and pen, disposable camera
If you're involved in an accident which is going to end up with
somebody making a motor insurance claim, use these to
document it in as much detail as you can manage. Make a
sketch of the crash, take pictures of the cars and take down
insurance details from everyone.
A camera-phone makes a fine substitute for the disposable camera if you have one.
10. Jump leads
Like fitting a replacement light bulb, jump-starting a car is an
easy job that most drivers avoid like the plague. Dare to be
different! The Haynes manual will undoubtedly explain how.
All jump starting primers note that only 'good quality' leads will do; so buy the thickest, most conductive pair you can afford.
11. Spare wheel
Chances are there's a spare wheel tucked under the carpet in
your boot; either a full-size one or a space-saving 'mini-spare' that's only good for one trip at under 50 mph.
If the tyre turns out to be flat or the tread is bald, get it changed at the next garage. Driving about with a duff spare draws glass, nails and sharp stones under your wheels like a magnet.
12. Jack and wheel brace
Essentials if you want to do anything with the spare wheel
mentioned above, and, like the spare wheel, usually come with the car.
Expect your first wheel change to take about 25 minutes. Tackling the job yourself after calling the AA may seem like a good way to pass the time, but it'll infuriate the recovery driver if you succeed.
13. Fire extinguisher
Operating your own private fire extinguisher is tremendous
fun - much better than a Super Soaker. Get a small one, and
keep it to hand when you're driving rather than tucked away
in the boot.
Another item for your Halfords shopping list.
14. Tow rope
A length of good nylon rope has all kinds of uses in the hands
of a resourceful motorist. Besides hitching one car to another,
you can use it to tie sofas and canoes to your roof-rack; hold
down your boot door if there's too many mountain bikes in
there to close it; fix your bumper back on following collision with
a tree or low wall; and of course lash road-kill to your bonnet.
Rope is easy to come by, particularly if you know any old navy men or boating enthusiasts.
15. Disposable gloves
Great if you're carrying out a little unplanned maintenance en
route to a formal dinner or job interview - particularly if it's in
catering or healthcare.
Buy a box of fifty if your car is on its last legs; otherwise, a few pairs of marigolds from the kitchen drawer will do.
16. Spare fuel
Provided you use an approved container and store it in the
boot, carrying spare fuel is worth the potential fire risk.
Halfords carry a range of approved fuel cans.
17. Waterproof, hi-visibility jacket
Not quite so versatile as the blanket, but it'll keep you dryer
and safer on the side of the road. While wearing it, other
motorists will assume you're from the AA - resist the
temptation to sign them up for breakdown cover and cheap
car insurance.
These can presumably be bought most cheaply in Spain, as carrying one in your car is a legal requirement there.
18. Breakdown cover details
Keep a copy of your breakdown service's hotline number along
with any membership information in your glove box.
Maybe use your neglected Haynes manual to keep it flat.
19. Food and drink
Steer clear of anything that melts easily, anything messy and
anything with a sell-by date that's meant to be taken
seriously. Beef jerky, mixed nuts and raisins, Tracker bars and
box drinks are ideal - crab sticks, cream horns, dairy milk and
Yazoo are not.
20. Frisbee
Playing Frisbee (http://www.frisbeedisc.com) is the perfect
break from driving on a sunny day - much better than crawling
round Welcome Break with the rest of the bank holiday traffic.
Pull off at the next exit, find a convenient field or park and
unwind for fifteen minutes with passengers or passers-by.
Perfection
If you've got all of the above then you should be well
equipped for the perfect roadside picnic. So, pull over
somewhere scenic - up a hill or by the sea is best. Stretch
your legs and work up an appetite with the Frisbee, then
spread out the blanket and sit down. Chew some jerky, suck
on a box drink, then Trackers (choc chip for preference) for
dessert. Lie back in the sunshine, maybe read a few pages of
the Haynes manual - or use it to press wild flowers. Take a
few pictures with the disposable camera as a memento of this
perfect day.