Hoot Top 10 - Motoring myths
Heard the one about traffic cops playing "speed snooker"
or inadvertently launching a missile with their radar guns?
How about the Cheshire man who sent police a picture of his
speeding fine rather than the fine itself?
There are hundreds of such motoring stories doing the rounds,
and we at Hoot Car Insurance Services have heard them all.
Most of them offer a grain of hope for the ill-fated motorist
(most likely down to his last three licence points), featuring
some plucky soul getting one over on the police or the speed
cameras.
And most, sad to say, are bare-faced lies.
We've put together the 'Top 10 Greatest Motoring Myths',
from the littlest white lie to the biggest whopper we ever
heard, for your amusement and forewarning.
So before you try out that full-proof method for avoiding
a speeding fine or car
insurance claim - especially if you heard it down the
pub or in the queue at a service station - cast your eyes
down the following list and make sure it's not there.
10. You can outrun a speed camera
We put this one at 10 because it is technically true.
There is a certain threshold speed beyond which the standard
Gatso speed camera can no longer detect a passing car - Top
Gear test driver the Stig once pegged it at 171mph.
However, opportunities to achieve this kind of speed on British
roads are few and far between, and few if any of us owns a
sufficiently powerful car. So it's practically impossible.
9. "Speed snooker"
Rumours abound, particularly among disgruntled red car owners,
that traffic police while away the long hours spent clocking
speeding traffic by playing this snooker-inspired game.
Officers target cars by colour, following the classic snooker
sequence: red, colour, red, colour, etc. Obviously this leads
to red drivers feeling somewhat persecuted, and they perpetuate
the myth.
It is a myth, at least as far as anyone can tell.
8. A policeman must be wearing his hat to write you
a ticket
46 percent of us still think this is true, but the law changed
some time ago.
Today, an officer on duty need only be recognisable as such
to write you a speeding ticket or clap you in irons, and commenting
or his or her uniform will only make the process less comfortable.
7. A good joke can get you out of a speeding fine
One of the most persistent tall tales among motorists concerns
the man who was snapped by a speed camera whilst driving through
Cheshire.
When the £40 fine notice and a picture of him committing
the offence arrived through his letterbox, the wit sent back
a photograph of two £20 notes and waited to see what would
happen.
In the event, amused coppers sent back another picture -
this time of a pair of handcuffs. The speeder is supposed
to have got away scot free.
Whether the tale has any basis in fact is disputed. It is
in all probability just another myth.
6. Police hide speed cameras in motorway signs
This myth concerns electronic road signs that were recently
put up on the M4, and is generally spread by email rather
than word of mouth.
The original email - which conspiracy theorists believe was
written by the police - states that the signs are all fitted
with SPECS speed cameras.
Unlike standard Gatso cameras, the flash-less SPECS systems
are virtually undetectable even when you've set one off. The
cameras work in pairs and can police a six mile stretch of
motorway thanks to the unique way they function.
So says the email.
In fact the M4 signs are fitted with cameras, but they're
part of a CCTV system and nothing to do with speed monitoring.
SPECS is in use elsewhere on British roads, but never covertly
- the camera assemblies and the boom that holds them are always
painted an unmistakeable bright yellow.
5. Overpay your fines to avoid points
This entirely made-up old chestnut gets lots of impressionable
motorists into extra trouble when they are caught speeding,
running red lights or otherwise breaking the rules.
It's based on some very woolly lateral thinking, which assumes
police don't issue points on your licence until they've collected
a fine. Write a check for just over the fine amount, the theory
goes, and they'll be forced to refund you the excess before
docking the points.
However, because police are lazy (and any scam which relies
on this principle is bound to come unstuck), they won't bother
processing the refund. So the fine never finishes processing,
no points are issued and the plucky offender lives to speed
another day.
In reality, police quite reasonably view cheques for the
wrong amount as an attempt to avoid paying fines. Points are
issued as normal and, if this isn't the first time, the 'plucky
offender' may even end up with a driving ban.
4. Reflective plates blind cameras
Applying miracle sprays or changing your number plates for
a pair with specially reflective surfaces won't dazzle speed
cameras, whatever their manufacturers claim.
They'll just make your car look silly.
3. Radar guns launch missiles
Anybody who believed this one should be ashamed of themselves.
The tale goes that a pair of police officers were clocking
passing traffic with radar guns (probably playing "speed snooker"
- see above) when one registered an object approaching at
300 mph. They were understandably relieved when the source
of the reading turned out to be a passing fighter jet rather
than a car.
But all was not well in the cockpit far above them. The radar
guns had somehow interfered with the jet's weapons systems,
and there was nothing the bewildered pilot could do to stop
one of his missiles launching.
This tragic episode resulted in a major international incident,
the story-teller explains, but it was covered-up by the authorities
to stop the police becoming a laughing stock.
It's all lies, however. Any boffin or aircraft enthusiast
worth their salt knows you can no more launch a missile with
a traffic gun than you can jump to the moon.
2. Mobile phones cause explosions at petrol stations
This whopping porky has its origins in Southeast Asia, where
a motorist is supposed to have suffered severe burns after
a spark from his mobile phone ignited lingering petrol fumes.
The story has been thoroughly debunked. Indeed, the very
possibility of a mobile setting off an explosion is fiction
or the wildest order.
But what's most interesting about the petrol pump myth is
the way it's being spread. People don't hear about this one
by email or overhear it in roadside cafes amid the hushed
whispering of truckers.
No, they get it from the oil companies.
Notices prohibiting the use of mobiles feature prominently
on petrol station forecourts across the country, and the message
is enforced with considerable zeal by station staff. This
understandably gives British drivers the impression they have
something to fear.
Nobody knows why Shell, Esso, BP and the rest persist with
these unnecessary precautions. Perhaps it has something to
do with the Crazy Frog.
1. "That JATO unit would look nice on my roof rack"
For the number one motoring myth we turn, perhaps predictably,
to America.
It goes like this: sometime in the early 90's, an American
Air Force sergeant was casting around for a way to soup-up
his car, and his eyes lighted on something called JATO unit.
JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) units are used to propel heavy
transport planes to the speed at which they achieve lift-off
from the runway. They are solid fuel rockets, not that dissimilar
from the booster-rockets that help launch spacecraft into
the heavens.
Pretty powerful stuff, in other words.
Expecting little more than an exciting burst of speed over
a few miles, the sergeant attached his JATO to the roof of
an otherwise unassuming 1967 Chevrolet Impala. He drove out
into the Arizona desert, the favoured location for land-speed
record attempts, and found a nice straight stretch of road
to test it out on.
For about two and a half miles, all went according to plan.
He accelerated the Impala to top speed and fired the rocket,
bringing it up to about 300 mph.
Things went wrong, however, when it came time to slow down.
After about 25 seconds at a speed normally reserved for fighter
jets (see 'Radar guns launch missiles' above), the sergeant
stamped on the brakes, melting them and blowing out the tyres.
The JATO unit really came into its own at this point, as the
car became airborne.
Remember how the road was straight? Well, when you're tanking
along in a jet-propelled car wreck, four miles of freeway
just flies by. At that point, the road curved sharply around
a rocky outcrop in the desert.
Sadly for the sergeant, the Impala did not.
Police pieced the story together from the singed tarmac,
burnt rubber and the little bits of tooth and bone left in
the vicinity of the crash.
This story was considered true for years, and in 1995 it
won a Darwin Award.
In 1996, however, the Arizona Department of Public Safety
announced it was pure fiction.
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10 Myths above.
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